The End.

Ok. So first online dating experience has come to an end. After three dates and one long PG-rated, high school-style make out, and he ended it. I had to respect him for how he handled it all. He didn't string me along or try to take advantage of me. He was respectful about it. I'll give him that. So with one phone call, my first eHarmony relationship was ended.

I will admit I had felt it coming. I thought I was more interested than he was since date 2 and was trying to convince myself it was all in my head, but my gut was right. I think this all taught me to listen closer to my gut. It typically knows what is up.

Now I am not too heartbroken over all this. He was a cool guy, and I had fun dating him. I am sad it didn't work, but not heartbroken. I am just glad I didn't close out my eHarmony account or get too attached too quickly. So now I am back to the drawing board. Luckily there are plenty more guys online to meet! Hopefully one of them will feel about me the way I feel about him. I am looking forward to that day!

Hugs and kisses,

Elizabeth

Exchanging Numbers

So I got this idea from another friend who had done dating (and met her boyfriend) on eHarmony. She recommended not exchanging numbers, last names, emails or anything too personal till after the first date at least. I thought this was really good advice. First, when you are meeting someone online, you really don't have any clue that he/she is who he/she says he/she is. So until you've hung out a few times, it is safest to keep things distant just in case. That doesn't mean you shouldn't bond over mutual interests or share stories about your life, but keep out the what street you live on and where you work stuff.

Also I think that by not having each others cell you are forced to immediately examine what happened on the date and if you really are interested in seeing the person again. If you are, you send a message to him/her over the dating site with your number and email and then go from there to move the relationship off of the site.

If however the date sucked, and you really don't want to see him/her again, then you can cut it off easily be sending a message through the site saying you were not feeling it. Nice and clean.

So I am using that method for sure for all my dates. Does anyone else have any tips for online dating?

Hugs and kisses,

Elizabeth

Post-date High (And Coming Down)

So my hot date the other night went amazingly well. The conversation flowed easily from one thing to another, his manners were perfect, and he has about the best smile I've ever seen (I am also a sucker for a good smile, right up there with Harry Potter and Chicago...and he has read every Harry Potter book...so double hit). So overall, an amazing date. And sorry kids, no kiss. Just good wholesome fun. But I thought we clicked well.

But now I am in the post-date limbo. We exchanged numbers and have texted (veryyyyyyy lightly), and he expressed an interest in continuing things, but he hasn't asked me out again or even hinted about hanging out again. He sent me another eHarmony email asking some questions, which I found as if it was almost a step backwards. Why wouldn't he either get my real email or text/call me? I would think that after you've crossed over from the eHarmony contact to real life, you shouldn't be going back to the eHarmony way of contacting. Or am I over thinking things, and this is this normal online dating behavior? It was my first date. I might still not have the hang of this online dating.

Anyways, I am kinda getting down from the high I was on after the date (I spent most of the day after with a huge smile plastered to my face scaring everyone in my office...serious post-date high). But the weirdness of going back to eHarmony email and no hint at future plans makes me wary. But in the end, I guess no over-thinking is going to change the situation. What will be, will be!

But I keep wondering is going back to the dating site's mail exchange normal eHarmony dating behavior?

Hugs and kisses,

Elizabeth

Hot Date

So the date of my first eHarmony meet up has been set! I am really excited, but also a bit nervous. The guy seems really cool and not afraid to be a bit silly, which I love. He has actually read and watched all the Harry Potter books/movies multiple times and doesn't seem to have taken the whole eHarmony process that seriously. I like that. I kinda just want to have fun with it to. I am curious about why he did join, but I am hoping to get that after the date. So yup! First eHarmony date is Tuesday night! I can't wait!

The things that make me nervous are hearing stories like Emma's where the guy she met was completely different from what she was expecting. I would actually be really disappointed if that happened. By a lot. He seems really funny and easy going through our messages. And I laugh every time a message from him pops up in my box. It is a nice break to my day. We've bonded of Harry Potter, having Trek-y dads and other silly things. It would be nice to get to some deeper issues at some point, but that might be a few dates in. My biggest worry is if the chemistry we have on paper can transfer over to meeting in person. So cross your fingers!

Any ideas on what I should rock for my first date look? Bellow is that i was thinking of doing:

Ok. not exactly, but I am thinking a white heavy-knit sweater, tight jeans and sky-high brown boots. So how do these elements fit together:

First date appropriate for meeting up for drinks in a dive bar? Let me know what you think! Any other suggestions (date wise or clothing choice wise)???

Hugs and kisses,

Elizabeth

Asking the Right Questions

I've gotten through the first few steps on eHarmony (5 multiple choice questions, the "must haves" and "can't stands" -- which I don't really even get -- and have now gotten onto the 3 open ended questions.) Progress!!!

So as I've been exchanging these questions, I've realized a few things. The people who I find more attractive are the ones who take the time to write individualized questions. They are the ones who actually read my profile and picked up on certain elements to ask me about. Best question I got so far was about a scene in a TV show that I had put as one of my favorites. He actually knew the characters and questioned what I would do in the particular situation. It obviously took some thought. And was really fun to answer. The rest of his questions were just as awesome. I am really looking forward to talking to him more. So I hope he responds soon!

Getting back to the questions. The people who spent time to create original and personalized questions rather than just pick random ones from a list are so much more impressive. I felt inspired and excited to respond to those types of questions.

So what should you get out of this? Take a few more minutes to ask the person you are communicating with a question that relates only him/her. It makes you feel special getting those questions, and you realize that they actually took the time to read your profile fully. It feel good. So share that feeling with someone else by taking the extra time to craft his/her questions! It is worth it and will help you form a deeper connection. And don't be afraid to get silly!

DATING UPDATE: Still no dates, but I feel them coming on soon! Woop!

Hugs and kisses,
Elizabeth

Woo Me

Woo me. Seriously. It is really that simple. I want to be chased. I want someone to tell me I'm amazing and take me on picnics on the beach or to a concert or just hiking in the hills. But seriously, put some effort it. I might not need a full on "GAP attack" like in the clip above, but I do want something. I think that is part of why I joined eHarmony. Wooing is dead, and it makes me sad. At least with eHarmony potential dates have to jump through a few hoops before they can get to the part where they can message me. They have to work for it. And I am worth it. But seriously, boys. Woo us. Get us flowers, step it up on a date, ALWAY wear cologne (just don't over do it) and a breath mint. Men really don't understand the power of a little cologne. It has to be just enough that it gives her an excuse to get close to you to breath it in and bam. She is putty. But back on topic. We need wooing back. And I think eHarmony and dating websites help bring it back in a way. The force candidates to work a little harder than they do in a bar and actually connect with some. And well, I dig it. So woo away, boys!

Hugs and kisses,
Elizabeth

My Achilles' Heel

Ok. I am a sucker for a few things. And I've noticed when looking at profiles on EHarmony that there are a few things I totally go for.

+Harry Potter: I am immediately interested in any guy who has READ (not just watched) Harry Potter. Slightly obsessed with the series, and I think that a guy who has read HP has a slight nerdiness factor (and I am a bit of a sucker for nerds as well).

+Chicago: Ok, so Chicago is my favorite city in the world. Not only was I born there, but I moved back for grad school (I lived in a few other places in between). I have traveled a lot (not as much as I want to, but a fair amount), and I haven't found another city that can compare. It has public transportation, amazing architecture, friendly people, great restaurants and an awesome night life. What more could you want? (And anyone who complains about the weather is a wimp).

+Big 12: I am incredibly partial to my alma mater especially, but I'll take any Big 12 school. Especially being in California now, it is really awesome to find anyone who went to a Big 12 school. I am just not a California boy fan. Is there anything wrong with that?

So recently I started talking to both a guy who said the last book he read was Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (turns out he's only read each book once and only right before the movies came out, which isn't quite as impressive...wow I am a nerd) and another guy that is from Chicago (we'll see if he loves the city as much as me!). Anywho, I couldn't not respond! We'll see what happens. Still having gotten to first date point (and I'm not sure if I am in any rush to go there yet anyways). I am just enjoying the search at the moment. Lets see where it goes!

Hugs and kisses,

Elizabeth